General Chat

Following last weeks outburst over my having a drink and me not talking to OH till late last sunday ................ Well the p***k has done it again only this time it is irrepairable:-

Why? Well the brief and honest answer to that is - he agreed to me getting a pup at easter last year and then reluctantly agreed to let me get another in october ............ bearing in mind that he ""STOLE"" the first pups attentions and she wouldn't do anything for me ............. well - because the second pup has been badly abused ny his first owner and doesn't particularly like men he has bee round my skirt hem like bees round the honey pot ... although he is on very good terms with the first pup ...........

Last night hubby announced .............. It's me or them !!!!

Infact his exact words were ......... I suggest you take your dogs and find somewhere else to live cos i don't want the effing things ........... they are a toil of a pleasure .............

So I am absolutely heartbroken at this thought but refuse to let the pups go as he does this every time we have had a pet ..............

This time i am sticking to my guns and it has cost me a relationship of nearly 12 years ...............

Well the selfish beggar can rot now !!!!!!!!!

I'm a bloke, but agree with you...stuff him and find a fella who will love you and your dogs. Col x

Oh TJ - how awful for you - what a selfish pig that man is. I do hope you have the strength to get out of this relationship, if it can be called a relationship, and move on complete with pups. A leopard never changes it's spots and he's proved it. He is going to end up one very lonely person and will realise one day that he has no one. All I can do is wish you all the luck in the world and you know that on here we all feel for you and will help in any way we can. Let's know how things pan out honeybun - thinking of you, Love Ann XXX

Hi TJ
we have adog which we love to bits but if he said get rid of him i,d tell him to get lost adog cant defend himself,but my oh loves dogs,i dont think your oh is being fair hope you get things sorted but dont give in stick to your guns
Dutchxx

i'm in bits and can't stop crying - didn't sleep well either cos i made him sleep in the other room !!!

make him sleep in another house!! Course you're in bits, who wouldn't be in those circumstances. Who's house is it? Can you make him go?

deffo get rid without a doubt-of him not the dogs
catherine
xx

TJ - l am so sorry. Is there anywhere you can go, or he can go for that matter. Tell him to bog off and find somewhere else - l know thats not as easy as it sounds though - but could you cope without him. What ever you do, keep yourself and the dogs safe - would he hurt them??
He sounds like a spoilt brat, wanting his own way all the time!!
As you know there is always someone here to listen to you.

Hope you get things sorted - take care.

jude sarf wales xx

so sorry hope he will realise how unfair he is being and it gets sorted xxxx

If this has happened every time you've had a pet, why on earth did you get the dogs when you knew he was unhappy about it in the first place & it would put again, a strain on your relationship ?

You said he was reluctant for you to get the second dog so getting it has now predictably aggravated the situation.
Maybe he knew it would strain your relationship further.

My hubby (although he would never hurt any animal) is no fan of pets, especially those what take up your time such as a dog which cannot be left alone for long.

Knowing how he feels I wouldnt dream of getting a pet as its not fair on him...its his home too. If i did, I know he would be unhappy, and if hes unhappy so am I.

Obviously your relationship troubles go far deeper with your OH than it just being the dogs at fault.

Might be a good idea to calm down at discuss the situation with him in a rational calm manner to work out if your relationship is worth saving.
.
I wish you well

Mildred ........... Thanx for your comments ......... but you see we don't have any other relationship issues but my OH seems to think that he is the only person in this world that had a bad childhood and what i mean by that is that his parents split when he was nine years old and he thinks he is the only person in this world that has had testicular cancer ...........oh that was 24 years ago ......... but he seems to want to carry the grudges of the above and takes them out on everybody he comes into contact with ........

For 12 years i have done nothing but give him love and support even when he son S**T on us from a great great height and those that are regulars on this board will remember the incident with regard to our grandson ............

I don't think that i was being totally unreasonable for asking for something that i could care for as well as him ........ esp when he periodically works nights and periodically works away ............. the pups give me peace of mind considering i live in a detached house and it can be very lonely at times ....... i have a very nervous disposition and don't mind admitting that i suffer panic attacks at the slightest little noise if it is not a noise i am familiar with .....

I understand your comments but for 12 years his kids have given us nothing but hassle ...........and i have supported him and sorted the c**p that goes with it ...........

Am I in this life to be constantly unhappy or am i entitled to be happy - we don't have children together - i'm sorry but i thought marriage was give and take not just it all being one sided .............

:-)) No offence to you with the above comments

It doesn't sound like the dogs are really the root of the problem, more of any excuse for conflict.

If I had to choose in a relationship though my dogs would come first. It would be a case of love me love my dogs.

Good luck though in whatever you decide to do, I know its not an easy situation but be strong, life's too short.

Anne

Unless there is give and take and total commitment and trust on both sides, I can't see the relationship working.

My husband and I work through problems together, have similar interests etc, all of which has combined to make a happy 34 year marriage work.

Each of you should want the other to be as happy as possible, if not, why continue in an unhappy home?

Maybe you need to live apart and have a cooling off time to think things through..............you will either be a stronger couple or part forever.

Whichever it is, I wish you peace and happiness in your life.

xx

Morning TJ

I wish I could wave a magic wand for you and make everything right,you sound so unhappy.
Could a few days break away together be possible?
it sounds like an in depth discussion to air your feelings would help,or has situation gone too far now?

I wish you well and hope things get better for you both,twelve years together must surely count for something in your relationship.
Mau ((xx))

Life is too short for such conflict - we only have one shot at it - it ain't a rehearsal - so make it as happy as you possibly can

No offence taken :o))

But he did have baggage when you met him as a lot of couples do, hubby & I included (Im wife no2),

When you take on baggage you have to take the rough times, its not fair I know, & it can either make or break you.

Again to the subject of the dogs, maybe stopping at the one dog may have been a compromise

The question is, do you still love each other ? do you work through this ? Or have you reached a stage where you are not happy with each other anymore.

Picture yourself in 3 months time, where do you want to be, alone or with OH. Will you miss being apart from him ?

Sit down & talk to him when you are both calm & find out what you really do want.

Remember a lot of things are said in anger
(I should know, Ive divorced hubby several times during a row now lol )

you tell him mate

TJ I havent read all the thread yet, so hope I dont make a BOO BOO, but did he buy the car he promised last week? Cos if it was me I would put the dogs in the car and drive the f*** out of there!!!

We all have upsets with our partners and sometimes things can seem really bad, but you learn to compromise and find solutions to problems if its worth fighting for.

But from what you have said over the last two weeks - what are you fighting for exactley?

He needs to love and respect you and you him ....I cant see that respect coming through.

The root of the problem is

he doesn't want to share me with anybody or anything and wants me for himself ...........

Kitty no offence but honestly i wish you knew the amount of **crap that we have had to deal with**

When I met him he and his first wife had split and he had turned to the bottle .......... no answer in the bottom of that !! but I stood buy him and watched him go through the drying out period to him now only having a drink on a saturday night .......... and only 4 pints at that .........

I have stood by him and supported him when he had no job .............

I have stood by him and his kids for the last twelve years

The youngest unfortunately now in prison .... but even in 2006 when this youngest one wasn't in prison and got his girlfriend pregnant and that after she had had the baby decided at 6 days old she didn't want it .......... we took the baby on cos the youngest one decided he did but knew he had a pending prison sentence ............we had that baby for 3 months .. the mother used to visit everyday but only for a couple of hours and then selfishly kept all the money for the baby and spent it on herself ........then on the last weekend we had the baby cos we wouldn't take him to an address we didn't know and to people we didn't know she rang the police and told them we had kidnapped him .... after 3 days of social services enquiries and all the crap that went with that .......... the mother then told social services that she would rather the child be in care ......... and spun form of story to the youngest child who was in prison and he agreed to the child being put in care ..................

The crap has been unbelievable ..........

Travelling nearly 300 miles cos one of his daughters had been rushed into hospital in brighton whilst she was working away from home - not once but twice in the same week and going without my own sleep and then when we fetched her home i nursed her for 3 months ............

I don't call these selfish acts on our part .......... we always talk situations through which is why we were so strong as a couple and that strength was envied by mutual friends ..........

I have tried to talk to him this morning and all i got was silence ........... not even an apology for hurting me ...........

I know that some of these comments seem abrupt and offensive but honestly they are not meant that way .............. i am just so so hurt and heartbroken ............. especially as he won't speak to me !!!!

Maddie

I adore him and would be devastated if anything ever happened to him

I couldn't imagine my life without him ........... i don't want my life without him .........

But neither can I go on living on his terms only !!!!!