General Chat

hi everyone carole i dont no how you do it rember everyones name ,hope everyone enjoying there holiday break ,well im feelin a little better today best ive felt in weeks ,still a little shakey but nothing compared to resently ,had a heart to heart with oh this morning tryed to explain how im feeling and my worries so i think that helped a little ,but dont think he quite understood it all . one more worry coming up on the 15 april when he sees heart surgion so ill probley get panicky /anx again around then ,so will have to call on you all again probley wish everyone well regards to all xxelaine xx

Jules, that is it, a barbecue but also ask a few of your friends as well. maybe somebody from Genes who lives close (you could meet up beforehand), or somebody from where you work.

And, no shame in seeing a psychiatrist for a chat but i am not sure that i think it very kind of your OH to suggest it when you were obviously feeling low because then it comes over as an accusation. He did know what you were like before you moved there to be with him didn't he? Anyway ask to be referred for counselling and see if you can beat it but on your terms and in your time and because you want to.

Would you feel better if the ex wasn't there? and do you feel as if you are on trial so to speak, to be better than her? I am sure there is no need or they would still be together. (possession is nine tenths of the law etc)

Ann
Glos

Hi all,
just want to say a quick well done to Jules for having the courage to say no. I do it sometimes and feel the weight almost literally comes off my shoulders so I know how you feel. Make the most of your ME time. We will come up with a plan of action for the next meeting at your place, if it has to be so.
Btw, if your couscous was the Ainsley Harriott packet one, I love that, could almost live on it!
It is great with baked sausages, or a salad, goes with so many things, I wouldn't be without it in the cupboard. Never had it with Ryvita tho lol
To every one else Hi, Happy Easter and will try to pop back on later in 'normal' hours but must do some calls and things I missed yesterday and put the laundry away, got it all dry thank heavens, was like a Chinese laundry in here lol
love and hugs to all
Lizxxx

Ann.....I think I would feel worse being in my own home as I wouldn't be able to say ''Right, I think we best get home now''...lol
There is 11 all together. If we have to host one then maybe a bbq or arrange a meal out to take the focus away from me..??

Jules - sounds like a good idea to me - ask your GP if he will refer you - can do no harm whatever can it - you've everything to gain and nothing to lose and bear in mind - there is no shame in seeing a psychiatrist - most of us on this thread have seen one or are seeing one at the moment!!

Morning all.Believe it or not the sun is out and I can see some grass!!!!

Our big plan for the weekend is to go to the 'sugar bush' tomorrow morning for breakfast and a hay ride.Breakfast will be scrambled eggs, baked beans, bacon,sausage or ham plus fried spuds all drowned in maple syrup.

I won't be on here much today as Colleen is studying for an exam and has a major project due, so I'll be upstairs minding the children while she comes down to my flat for some quiet time.Tomorrow night there is going to be a TV programme about autism, and the remarkable progress a girl named Carly has made with a special computer software programme. Carly went to a learning centre in Toronto at the same time as our Sarah did, she's 4 years older than Sarah. If you go to ctv dot ca then enter 'Carly' in the search bar (sorry I have a prob with trying to C&P at present) you'll see a couple of links, one to her writings and the other a background story about her development. This software programme is something Colleen would love to have for Sarah as we are sure she understands everything that is said to her, this would help her communicate - we've been hoping and praying for a miracle for her - a friend is trying to do some fundraising through his business to help achieve that (the software is several thousand dollars) plus the chance for a service dog, to keep Sarah from sprinting away at the first opportunity. Some of you may find the news article of interest.
Hope to be back later. Keep the sunshine coming, have a happy Easter weekend everyone.
maryXXXX

Hi Ann - think we're reading off the same hymn sheet here!!!!!

Thank you Ann.....when we first got together I used to think about cooking them all a meal to impress them (as catering is my field) n what I would do n so on n so on, so the thought n want to be able to join in n relax is there but it's the actual doing it, I get myself all wound up about it days before then I just fall to pieces. Graham said this morning I need to see a psychiatrist(sp) to find out why I have such little self confidence cause it's ruining my life...??

Jules,
If it is at your, you may handle it better, it will be your home ground. How many of them altogether? Is it a buffet or sit down meal. Could you have your daughters or a friend/relative of yours with you at the time?

Ann
Glos

you are not selfish at all Jules - no way.
Just remember that if you decide to host the next meet it will be on your terms on your territory, that will give you the upper hand and there is no reason at all why you will fail - you have plenty of time to psyche yourself up and bear in mind it will be nicer weather then - you can do salads and maybe fresh salmon and cold cuts of meat, with some new potatoes chucked in for good measure. That and a trifle or two and some cheese and biscuits and you've got it made!! I'm sure you can cope with that and it can all be done the day before almost so you can take time preparing yourself - I think you will surprise yourself and Graham to boot. It will be a big step forward for you honey and I know you can do it - give it some thought anyway

Love and hugs, Ann XXX

Hi Ann.

I have said that to him before that I would rather meet them as couples, n we have had one of the guys round for dinner on a Sunday before. In small doses I can handle it but not all together talking about things that they all know about apart from me. I'm fine until a few weeks before the next Meet, which happens about every 2mths n next time they're saying it's mine n Grahams turn to host it at ours (they all take it in turns).....how on earth am I going to handle that!! Selfish I may be but I'm thinking about me in all this. But I don't expect him to drop his friends just because we're together now......that would be selfish of me.

Hope you have a good day too Ann n things are ok with you. xxxx

Jules, if your OH understands that you have problems with your confidence, then he should understand that being with a group of people who have known each other for a long time and especially as his ex is involved is going to undermine that confidence. when there is no meeting looming, have a chat with him, explain that that is how youa re and ask for HIS understanding. It really is not fair of him to put you under pressure to go to meet them all at once. maybe ask him to invite a couple of them to a get together on your home ground. explain it is not that you don't want to meet them but you would like to get to know them slowly in smaller groups. and, if it is any consolation, i do not suffer with depression or anything like that but I would feel exactly the same in your situation.
Enjoy doing nothing.
Ann
Glos

Ann, Ann, Dave n Carole....Thank you for understanding, I needed to hear that to justify my actions in not going. I knew I didn't HAVE to go but Graham expects me to as his partner to join in with them all. He says it's how I feel that makes me feel this way not the way THEY make me feel, which is partly true but I feel so much an outsider n am not from the same background as them so it makes me more worried of saying or doing something silly. Funny thing is I've been to 2 of these 'group meetings' before n each time felt uneasy thro lack of self confidence so I knew what to expect this time which is why I decided not to go......anyway, thank you xx

N that 'Me Time' someone mentioned.....that's exactly what I'm having. went back to bed at 9ish n got up just before 1pm :o) Not guna get dressed unless I run out of milk n have to pop to the shop.

Just had roasted vegetable cous cous n ryvita for breakfast/lunch which was lovely.

Joyce....sorry you didn't make the 2000th poster...lol

Love n hugs :o)xxx

please somebody, how long will it take me to reach the 3000th posting.xxxx

am going to leave you all in peace now..xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

n

n

n

well done Carole - hard cheese Joyce!!! I accidentally got the thousandth - had no idea till someone told me! By the way, would you believe I just had a beautiful butterfly in my back garden!!!!

I bet she will gill, she will probably add loads of posts now to jack the number up

Joyce try for the 3000 post. lol

(((((hugs))))))

Gill