General Chat

Hi Pat, Sorry to read you've had such a rotton time lately, I hope the sunshine comes back into you life soon. I've been off the boards myself for a few months and when l switched on last week l hardly recognized anybody, so many new names, l did'nt know if they were all new members or just name changes. l loved your thread on Northern Ireland, it brought back quite a few memories of things my mum had told me. Strangely enough it made me renew my subscription lol Love Anne xx

Hello Pat. Firstly i am so sorry to hear about your cat, and the fact you have had such a rough time this year. It might have been noticed that i am not on the boards much at the moment, it's partly down to the fact i am busy elsewhere, but i have found when i have had time to pop in i haven't a clue what is going on!! I think we need serious AND silly threads on the boards, but there is a limit to how much silly we need in a day. I find some of them total drivel, but others make me laugh out loud and brighten my day. It would be very sad if all the fun stopped, but maybe a bit less nonsense would be a good way to start encouraging new people to feel they could join in what can sometimes look like a private party? Yvette

Elaine, I've put up threads asking for people in the hope that they'll contact me about the Bear Relay after I've emailed them and pm'd them and got no response. I had no other way of contacting them. I've done that in the hope that other people who know them might respond and say 'She's on holiday' or 'He's in hospital' or something, so I know what's happening. I don't do it to annoy and usually remember to delete those threads when I've got answers to them. I hope it won't be necessary to do it again. It's also difficult to pm someone you've not got in your Contacts list if they also haven't appeared on the Gen Board for some time. --- I think we should all bear in mind that it's not necessarily the original Poster of a thread that keeps it on the front page. It's usually other people's responses to that thread, and if people respond to lots of threads about the same subject or start others up, surely that means that people are interested in the subject of those threads. If they are silly threads, they don't usually last long. Personally, I am extremely weary of the same criticisms being levelled at other Board members over and over again. If you don't like what others post, post something yourself that you consider more interesting, more informative or more entertaining! I was stunned at the attacks I received from other members when I tried a very eye-catching way of alerting people on this Board about the terrorist bombings in London on 7th July this year and the fact that transport in London was at a standstill on Police orders. I just could not believe that people preferred to discuss the weather or the 1911 Census, etc, at a time when nearly 60 people had been killed in horrific circumstances and hundreds of others shocked and maimed by this outrage in England's capital city. Many others also posted threads in connection with those bombings at the time, but I didn't notice anyone else being attacked for it in the offensive way that I was. My experience of that day and subsequent ones when people continued to criticise the concern I'd expressed (my own family had been near the scene of one of the bombs and had a very narrow escape) and the warnings I was attempting to give to anyone who was unaware of the situation in London at that time. That, plus a more recent incident on this Board, has certainly put GR and many of its members in perspective as far as I'm concerned, and as I've posted before, once my turn as London Group organiser for the GB Relay is over in mid-October, I will not be posting anything else on this Board. CB >|<

CB I'm talking about those who use the boards as a messaging service, those who only spoke to the person hours earlier and cant be bothered to PM them because they are inpatient or they cant accept the other person is not on here 24/7. I fully understand those who do it who have been trying for a few days to no avail to contact someone or are worried about that person for a particular reason. I fully understand the trouble you had regarding the GB relay and the frustrations you had with it. As for people criticising you and not others about the 7/7 postings, take no notice, once someone takes a dislike to you, the you will often get singled out amongst others for a dig. Its their problem, not yours. Its up to you whether you post on this board or not, but as Ive said before, the board is big enough for all of us, don't let others spoil it for you, as said, its their problem not yours. Keep on posting Elaine x

Elaine - I also would like to answer your comment - I put up a post yesterday asking if anyone had seen or heard from Honey Rum, does she actually know that I didn't PM here first?? I posted because I hadn't seen her name and maybe someone knew if she was maybe on holiday or not well. It was a question of concern!!! CB - That is the saddest thing I have heard for a while, the thought that you may not be posting on these boards after October. I for one would truly miss your honest and forthright opinions. Pat - So sorry to hear about your animals Pat... they are like our children and I grieve with you! Jacquie xxxx

Jacquie As said in my second paragraph of my last posting I quote myself 'I fully understand those who do it who have been trying for a few days to no avail to contact someone or are worried about that person for a particular reason.' As said Its those who use the board for the where ares etc, who have spoken to the person often less than a day ago. Many people don't sit on here all day so may be out or doing something else. But give them a chance to return and see their mails before going to the next stage and asking or messaging on the board. Elaine x

I hold my hands up and plead guilty to starting and adding to Threads both serious and humourous. There are also a lot of Threads which I have never even looked at. For a variety of reasons. Generally the title tells me if I am likely to find it interesting, and if it doesn't appear so I don't bother to look. I will admit that it can get annoying when every thread on the first few pages are inane chatter, but we must bear in mind, as suggested earlier, that some people get very little Human contact in their lives and this Site is an excellent tool to communicate with like-minded people. As the GB Relay has been limited to one thread, maybe that is the way we need to go?

Firstly I want to thank each and everyone of you that have posted comments here they are very constructive whether we agree with each other or not it is good to discuss things rather than letting things get to us by not getting it said. I also want to thank all for the very kind messages people have put here and other places on the board and all the private messages as well about my cat, thank you its very kind of you all. I was up nearly all last night working on microsoft word and popping in here chatting to people from Oz and NZ and guinness drinking, it helped me a lot. Please do not take what people say so personal. As I have stated before it is not against any one member, well not on my part its isn't. Pat x

In response to CB. I have seen character assasinations of individuals, on this board which have been completely offensive and suggestive of complete ignorance and a lack of good taste. That you, a member of this site, have been so deeply hurt by the words of others, posted on a public message board for all the world to see, is a disgrace. I have family in NY London and Louisiana. Shock, horror, fear, outrage, anger and an initial period of panicked and desperate phone calls on two particular occasions were part and parcel of my own responses to these events. I can only imagine your own level of such emotions in response to the news of a terror attack in London and fears for the safety of your family. Those who offer comments for consideration of members, must be prepared to have such comments responded to. But neither the poster or responder should suffer, or consider it their right to make, personal or offensive remarks to or about another human being. Some members may opt to report that which meets their own definition of offensive. That is their perogative as outlined in the guidelines. Others like myself perhaps, prefer to respond to publicly made comments which if considered offensive, innacurate or deliberately misleading, leave themselves open to rebuttal by those considering them as such. This is the other side of the coin we call free speech, but as with other rights and freedoms, it comes with responsabilities. Your own contributions to this board, if no longer offered. Would in my own opinion be a great loss to all who appreciate the opportunity to enjoy them. Patty

Elaine, Oleander and Patty, Thank you so much for your encouragement. It means a great deal and is greatly appreciated. I also have a first cousin and his wife who live in New Orleans, and although I read the posts on this Board about the appalling devastation there, I didn't comment much, as I didn't want to risk my views on the situation starting any arguments. Fortunately, I heard via other first cousins in Wales and Australia that they left the city before Katrina struck, and they are fine but have, like many thousands of others, suffered heavy losses. What happened to me here regarding the 7th July bombings was just one of a string of personal attacks I've had from other Board members in the past year. It wasn't the first, and I've no doubt that, if I stayed, it wouldn't be the last. The bombings outrage shocked many of us deeply, but the attitude of many who were not directly concerned and apparently cared little about it was a wake-up call to me about the self-centredness of human nature. If people can't think outside their own small world and understand the plight and concerns of others, it's a very sad reflection on them, in my opinion. I was amazed at the callous criticism I received on 7th July and subsequent days for daring to stand up to someone who appeared on my thread and lectured me about 'hiding under my kitchen table' and posting on this Board instead of listening/watching news broadcasts. The brazen nerve and ignorance of that poster shocked me beyond belief. He was someone I'd never seen post before and certainly not someone who knew anything about me. If he had, he'd have known that far from cowering in fear, had I been near enough, I'd have been helping care for the wounded and, if necessary, collecting body parts in the tube tunnel! I'd also been glued to the TV beside my PC for some time AND had the radio on, as well as taking phone calls from friends and family concerned as to the welfare of my husband and son, who were on the train behind the one that blew up at King's Cross. For some unknown assailant to dictate to me what I should have been doing under such circumstances is more than I'm prepared to stand. I was deeply angered then, and still am, by him and those who chose to make a hero of him in subsequent days. As there is no guarantee that such people won't re-appear and do a repeat performance, I now curtail what I post. I value this site as a family research tool, but there have been too many unpleasant experiences on this Board for me to hang around and court more. There is a lot I will miss, but I'm sure the Board won't suffer too much without me - I am only one person, and there are plenty of others who can fill any gaps I leave. CB >|<

CB, No one can fill the gap you will leave, not for me. anyway. Gwynne

CB You have dealt so well with some of the past troubles you have had on here I really think it's terrible that you want to go now. Why is it one of the best contributers to this board wants to go? why is it personal messages are sent instead of adding to the board? why can't people live and let live but also have a little consideration for each other? all these questions I am sure will not be answered but I get so fed up that the intelligent posters eventually give up and leave others here who just seem to want to stir things and be nasty and have nothing of importance to say. There are people I avoid on this board, there are people I look out for but one thing i never do and could never do and thats be nasty or rude to people just for the sake or love of it. It isn't clever its childish and it shows the people who are like that up as eventually they get caught out for what they are doing. CB this board can never be the same without you, how could it? many of the people who have left have left a void here you will leave a BIG void on sensible fun and all sorts of threads your input is always needed and enjoyed these boards need people like you people who can say what they mean clearly and thoughtfully, not make silly remarks or nonsense postings. Please CB reconsider staying with people like me you have weathered many storms and been able to hold your head up when the idiots were booted for their nonsense. There are many others who would not like to see you go, they would miss you too. Love Pat x

CB - I may not always agree with you and probably disagree with a great deal I have to say but I still always look for your comments on subjects I again say the gap you would leave would be too big for anyone to fill. When I first saw your post that morning of the bombings I admit my first feeling was one of shock, I suppose it seemed out of character (I also had only just woken up and had not heard the news!) but on reading your thread I understood exactly how you felt. As we always say here, no one really knows anyone else (unless they have met) but you do get an understanding and a feeling for certain people. If we cannot debate like adults and agree to disagree then there is little hope for us as human beings. There is never a reason to be outright rude to people but if someone was to me they would soon receive sharp words in return.... on the board for all to see!! Please rethink your decision even if your posts are less, please join in from time to time, just to let us hear the voice of reason sometimes. Jacquie xxxx

Sorry Pat forgot I was still in disguise.... Jacquie xxxx

Gwynne, Pat, Bev & Jacquie, Thank you all. Bev, I don't think you've been patronising - far from it. I respect honesty. I never have any problem with people disagreeing with my opinions. Gwynne and I could never be such good friends if we didn't tolerate each other's opinions on politics, for instance. I love a good discussion, but when it comes to people I hardly know, don't know at all or have never seen on the Board before being unpleasant, rude or dictatorial to me, I won't put up with it and I'll tell them what I think of them. I'll gladly discuss a subject with anyone and I'm happy for people who think I'm wrong to say so. Nobody is right all the time, and everyone's entitled to their opinion. I'll respect their right to an opposing view, but the unpleasantness has happened too many times, not just to me but to others too. If people choose to be nasty to me because they've misunderstood my posts or have not even read them, they can't expect me to hand them a bouquet. I refuse to be dictated to, told off like a naughty child or accused of things I haven't done, but all of those things have happened too often and enough's enough. Certain things that have happened recently on and off the Board (and not very many people know about them yet) have been the last straw for me. CB >|<

CB You have the wrong politics for me too lol. So has Ann in Glos but there has never been a time when that has been a problem. I respect yours and other people's beliefs as I think others should respect mine, but as we know that isn't the way it is in reality. I too get very cross when people tell me off like I am a child, and I WILL NOT be dictated to by anyone on this board either on threads or by emails. I do not know what has happened recently to you but I still maintain it would be dreadful not to see your posts and comments. A Fed up Pat x

CB I have read some of your posts on various different threads and will miss them if you go. You speak a lot of common sense. I do hope you will reconsider. Pat I'm sorry to hear about your cat and your other troubles too. I do enjoy the fun threads but would also like to see some serious threads too. I do agree with you about threads that seem to develop 'spiders legs' it gets very confusing trying to keep up, so maybe these could be restricted and members post on original thread instead which would make room for other threads on front page. I did post thread about organ donation once which received just over 20 replies. Another thread which was a fun thread got nearly 400 posts. So maybe it is up to us members who want serious threads to post and make sure they stay on the front page by posting on them. Juliexx

An honest nudge before bedtime for CB hoping she will see this tomorrow. Pat x