General Chat

okay we get it, your a young, virile, celebrity, stallion with long eyelashes. HAY (teehee) don't horses have long eyelashes.

oh Lem be careful, not using the hands can be dangerous. hope you didn't let go for a minute PMSL

Missing his jocky

racehorse then Daniel

Err yes, yes. Racehorse.

funny cause I would have thought maybe plow horse. Opps hubby just called down dinner is waiting. Okay don't say it, yes he's the cook, chef and bottle washer. teehee Talk soon, by the time I'm done you lot might be in bed. Have a good one. Deb xx

Night Deb :-)

Hello, what are you talking about now? lol :-)

Not sure about this one I found:- ''A man travels to Spain and goes to Pamplona during the great 'running of the Bulls' festival. After his first day there, he goes out late for dinner at a restuarant in the center of the town. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate ,with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects. 'What's this?' he asks. 'Cojones, senor,' the waiter replies. 'What are cojones?' the man asks. 'Cojones,' the waiter explains, 'are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon.' At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. This time, the waiter brings out the plate, but the meaty objects are much smaller. 'What's this?' he asks the waiter. 'Cojones, senor,' the waiter replies. 'No, no,' the man objects. 'I had cojones yesterday and they were much bigger than these.' 'Senor,' the waiter explains, 'the bull does not lose every time.'''

lol Joy, thanks for that :-)

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill said to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories. 'I will tell my saddest story first,' he said. 'I left the room key in the car!'

From an ex-field sales / support survivor: I used to work in a computer store and one day we had a gentleman call in with a smoking power supply. The service rep was having a bit of trouble convincing this guy that he had a hardware problem. Service Rep: Sir, something has burned within your power supply. Customer: I bet that there is some command that I can put into the AUTOEXEC.BAT that will take care of this. Service Rep: There is nothing that software can do to help you with this problem. Customer: I know that there is something that I can put in... some command... maybe it should go into the CONFIG.SYS. [After a few minutes of going round and round] Service Rep: Okay, I am not supposed to tell anyone this but there is a hidden command in some versions of DOS that you can use. I want you to edit your AUTOEXEC.BAT and add the last line as C:\DOS\NOSMOKE and reboot your computer. [Customer does this] Customer: It is still smoking. Service Rep: I guess you'll need to call Microsoft and ask them for a patch for the NOSMOKE.EXE. [The customer then hung up. We thought that we had heard the last of this guy but NO... he calls back four hours later] Service Rep: Hello Sir, how is your computer? Customer: I called Microsoft and they said that my power supply is incompatible with their NOSMOKE.EXE and that I need to get a new one. I was wondering when I can have that done and how much it will cost..

?? On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to get changed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, 'My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.' The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. 'Oh, oh, aaaahhh,' he exclaims, 'My word, you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled, she asks, 'My picture?' He answers, 'Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever.' She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, 'Why do you wear a robe? We are married now.' At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, 'Oh, oh, oh my, let me get a picture.' He beams and asks, 'Why?' She answers, 'So I can get it enlarged.'

Lucia - do you want more? :-) Joy

ok :-)

What Not To Name Your Dog Everybody who has a dog calls him 'Rover' or 'Boy.' I call mineSex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, 'I'd like to have one, too.' Then I said,'But this is a dog!' He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, 'But you don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old.' He said I must have been quite a kid. When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the place was for sex. I said, 'You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night!' The clerk said, 'Me too.' One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. 'But you don't understand,' I said, 'I had hoped to have Sex on TV.' He called me a show-off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight custody of the dog. I said, 'Your honor, I had Sex before I was married.' The judge said, 'Me too.' Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, 'Me too.' Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, 'What are you doing in this alley at 4:00 in the morning?' I said, 'I'm looking for Sex.' My case comes up Friday.

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. 'Oh Marie,' she said to her maid, 'I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.' 'I don't believe it for one minute !' Marie snapped.'You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!'

enough?