General Chat

This one is for all the doggie lovers . . . My sister wrote it and i've been curled up with laughter so thought I'd spreed some glee . . . . OFFENDAT . . . by Tricia I got this lil dog ya see, No matter wut I say or do, ‘E just as ta pee an pee. No lie, I sware its true. Well……………………………………… I adda call im Offendat, Fa reasons clear ya see. The fact that e’s called Offendat, Is that its offendat he’ll pee. ‘E pees along the skirtin boards, On Grandmas Ereloom rug. When I chastise the lil sod, Seems “e grins, kinda smug. So…………………………………………. I spred plastic an newspaper wall ta wall, In every room an up the ‘all. Even installed a doggy door, Didn’t seem ta elp at all. Cos………………………………………. Getting desperate ta learn the mutt, Re-sortin to the great hex-tremes, Showin ‘im ow ta use the doggy door, Only meself I do demean. See………………………………………………….. Stuck arf way in an arf way art, “E thought it were a bloody game. Wedged there all day an arf the night, I peed MESELF, ta my great shame. Then………………………………………. I ad the hopening widened (when at last I did get free) That dorg ad a wonderful time in the yard, But raced inside each time to pee. Next………………………………………… I adda hidea to teach by hexample, I took ‘im out behind a bush, Just ta show ‘im ow to pee outside. Wot appened next jest made me blush. Cuz………………………………………. I eard this round a cheerin, Clappin an whistling, a real hulabaloo. The ole bloody neighborhood wuz watchin I sware that dog was cheerin too. Sheesh……………………………………………… By now Ine pullin at me hair, Short a breath an kinda blue, Lookin for some hinspiration, Wonderin wut to do. So………………………………………. I took ‘im to hobedience class, Reckoned that would sort ‘im art, ‘E fetches the paper good enough, Still pees everywhere, the little F**t Now……………………………………….. I couldn’t stand the stench no more, The puddles drove me to the brink. Then I ad a bright idea, ‘E cant pee if ‘e cant drink ‘Owever……………………………… That lasted for an hour or so, Till ‘is whining drove me up the wall, I spose the thought were quite inhumane, But thet dorg jest wont learn at all. Couln’t bear the thought to put im down, , av ‘im fitted wiv a draining bag, give im away, In spite of is pee I love the sod. ‘E’s me company through each lonely day. By now…………………………………………. The stench got hoverpowerin, The foundatshuns of me ouse was all awash. I adda declare war on the situashun, Figured I ad ad enough. Tho I love me dorg I couldn’t stand it, Just couldn’t take the smell an damp no more, So…….. I tricked that lil bugger, Went an bought the ouse next door. So……………………………………………. ‘E as ‘is an I ave mine, Worked out real swell ya see, Me dog an me play in my yard, He races to his ouse ta pee.

Night night all :-)

Hi Ya All ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) and Healing Thoughts for Trifley Cat, thanks for reminding our Jood, Louisa is a GR nut like us, but I havent actually met her, only spoken thru Genes, I think sometimes with all Joods galavanting she tends to forget, he he sounds like beginnings of CRAFT disease lol Jood, you silly moo, Louisa is the youngster that lives up around your area remember, in Hawksbury, I emailed you her no, and address Hello Honey, hope your've managed to survive the heatwave going on over there, best wishes to Sue on interview Hi Mosiemo, are you as nutty as that sis of yours lol Gee wish my sister would email me, havent spoken in over nine mnths, musta done somfing to upset her, glad I has all you lots of maddys to keep me sane hee hee Morning most spectabled one, hmm only three weeks to move in eh, does that mean theres another house party to be had, hee hee, guess your really excited now, moving into a new residence, are you not sad about leaving your old abode, I know I was Chin up, back straight and soldier on Yvette, whoops and pull that stomach in OMG, did that fluffly duck say a 3 wheeler, good god I hope she hasnt got a licence for driving on roads, you never know what she might have hidden away in that little basket of hers definitely not groceries (Chardys, Baileys, Mosels, Bundaberg) he he Hi ya puddles, ooh that reminds me of a joke I recieved from my friend, will pm you Pammy lol Good one Tony, very thought out, but then YOU are the clever one on here, apart from me that is lol He He Jilly, Im glad that you asked that question and not me Hear Hear, Long Live the Queen Shaz XXXX

we have a cousin dog who used to come and stay with my boys for his holidays. bit fond of peeing on stuff too. he was so naughty, him and my youngest foxie dog would spend most of their days playing humpy pumpy. old dog has a heart problem so the humpy pumpy wasn't real good for him. 3 boy dogs together were worse than my 3 sons at close range. all good things must eventually end. he no longer visits. goodnight pussy cat. love yvette have just toasted the queen with some cake. have to go back to work and can't really do it with plonk

Night Julie Cat, sleep well luv Jillx

Okay, all, I'm off now for lunch in town with some friends and baby Ruby. Laurie, if you have any news about our Queen, I have my mobile with me! Lew xxx

Hiya all . . . I have just spoken to Grahame at the hospital, and The Queen is not back from recovery yet . . . he said he will pass on our love to her . . . luv Laurie

Thanks Laurie, Jillx

me

sorry about the last mail, had no choice but to grab it. shovelling some rice down the hatch and then off to see my aqua girls, should get a decent yak there and catch up on goss. for the last 6 weeks. pity you can't join me suzi love Yvette x

Thanks for passing on the news Laurie. I guess we won't know anything until later this afternoon. I keep having visions of Fluffy on her 3-wheeler. What an amazing little duck you are. Where did you get it from? Luv Anna

Hi Anna I asked my son Paul, who lives up on Bribie if he saw our little duck on the road - and he said there are a few of the three wheelers out there . . . I told him last night to look for one with a broken flag pole . . hee hee luv Laurie

Laurie - ROFPMSL..... Maybe we could make her a special flag for her flag pole with a wattle emblem on it - pity I'm not in the least artistic! By the way - did you know that Watty bear has a special hospital ID band on his wrist. Wouldn't do for him to go exploring and lose his way! :>) Anna

> This is touching... > > While on holiday in Kenya and walking through the bush, a man came > > across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. > > The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached very carefully. > > He got down on one knee and inspected the bottom of the elephant's > > foot, only to find a large thorn deeply embedded. > > As carefully and as gently as he could, he removed the thorn and the > > elephant very gingerly put its foot down. The elephant turned to face > > the man and, with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For > > a good ten minutes, the man stood frozen - thinking of nothing else > > but being trampled. > > Eventually the elephant turned and walked away. > > For years after, the man often remembered and pondered > the events of that day... > > One day, the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they > > approached the elephant enclosure, one of the elephants turned and > > walked over to where they were standing at the rail. > > It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the > > same elephant. > > He climbed tentatively over the railing and made his way into the > > enclosure. > > He walked right up to the elephant and stared back at it in wonder. > > Suddenly, the elephant wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs, > > picked him up and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, > > instantly killing him. > > Probably wasn't the same elephant...

Really Ann . . . I wondered if he was really in hospital with her - Bless her, have you met Grahame ??/ He sounds really nice

Laurie - that is just so awful. We need cheering up, not being depressed! A

Yes Laurie Trifley and Graeme, my Chris and I had lunch at St Bernard's up at Mt Tamborine. Graeme is lovely. Did you make any arrangements with Graeme about phoning for an update? A

No Anna, I didn't say when - just told him I would check back later. Do you want to phone next so we aren't all calling at once and invadeing their space ??? luv Laurie

Have to do the school run - might ring beofre that. Did you just ask to be put through to the Queen's room? X A

Anna, I just told reception I was ringing to ask after The Queen and they put me thru to the room L xo