General Chat

or if he does,nt should he not be allowed to see his child,xxxjoy

Good question. Personally I think he should be allowed to see his children, for their sakes. Unless he is likely to hurt them.

Yes I dont see why the child has to suffer Stopping a child from seeing its parent because of a money issue is blackmail and cruel and unfair to the child. Ps I agree absent parents of either sex should support their children..if they are able to Elaine x

Very contensious issue I think......been in this situation myslef with sons ex. He happily pays maintenence but if he couldn't afford to I'd still let him see our son, he's still his dad after all money or no money. HAve to deal with this as a CAB advisor too, I feel every dad has a right to see their child unless there is concern the child may be in danger if they do.

Do you mean -the CSA? My daughter has not had a penny in 10 years from her son`s father. He told them another child was born but hasn`t sent in birth cert -over a month later, Ros

Child and money...seperate issue....no woman has right to stop a man seeing his kids unless he is dangerous......problems with money should be dealt with apart from that.....you can't price a kid! Kids have rights too...never mind the adults...noone has the right to choose for them, as long as they are in no danger.

i put this thread on as really it follows my other thread and got me thinking....i think a father should see his child wether he pays maintenence or not.xjoy

If he supports his children and they are not going to come to any harm while with him yes xx

I always think that children should see the missing parent. I was raised by my father and was never able to see my mother and quite frankly it does affect the child. I don;t care what your differences are as long as the parent poses no threat to the child they should always have contact as far as I am concerned.

Most definately, unless he was an abusive father. Lin

unless the parent is likely to harm the child then absolutely!! A child isn't a bargaining tool!!

Depends on the father's relationship with the child . 'Any p***k can be a father, it takes a dad to be a dad' !

so long as theres no danger to the child. Don't forget the extra family members, ie grandparents, aunts etc. Often when the parents fall out the child loses contact with the rest of family. Claire

ginny,pmsl you have such a way with words,lolxxxxjoy

if he/she (whichever one is the absent parent) wants to see them, they want to see him/her, if he/she can be trusted to return them and keep them safe, then definitely no matter what financial input there is. Maz. XX

Absolutely. I didn't see my Grandparents, Aunties and Cousins until I was 20 when my father passed away. It affected them terribly. It still upsets my Nan to this day and because of the Gap in seeing them I am not particularly close to them. I think parents should really stop and think about the child more instead of as people have said using them as weapons against one another. It is all about the child not them and there bitterness!!! Mind you reading that back it sounds like I'm a bit bitter. but I am over it nowdays Honest.. LOL

My ex has had 24/7 access to our son since the minute he was born..... but has never paid a penny maintenance. However, if I ever felt the need to ask for help, he would sell his car to help me out. He is a GOOD Dad and I said that when his other EX tried to stop him see his other kids... why should any child be without a parent if that parent wants access ..... you HAVE to put your own personal feelings to one side and think whats best for the child. If you can come to some sort of financial agreement then all well and good ..... and better for the child I think. Elaine ;-)

It would depend on the circumstances. If he can afford to give a ha'penny towards supporting the child he should and he should be allowed to see the child even if it has to be suppervised in a secure location, after all the child has a right to see their dad. If he can't pay then what can you do? but he should still have access as above. However, if he abbandoned the family, makes no effort at contact and does not pay when he could, what right does he have to call himself a father? My friend would tell you the only dad she has is her step dad who she has lived with since she was 5. Her biological father abandoned the family when my friend was just days old, the only time she has seen him was at her 7th birthday when he suddenly turned up with a card and gift - she screamed and run away from him and her mother had to ask him to leave. He has never payed maintanance for my friend or her older siblings and he hasn't payed maintanance for his younger children in the area. What right does he have to see any of the children he abandoned? The children have never known him as a father and they would not want to be made to visit a stranger just because he has decided that he wants to see them. Judge my friend as you will, but if he turns up and upsets her I would happily defend her and tell him to leave as I have seen the state she gets in at the thought that is in the area. I should mention the above is my friend feelings not mine but I can see why she feels the way she does.

This is a sensitive issue My very best freind iv known all my life is a ....so lovley person is battling cancer. she brought up 2 children all on her own the b..................she was married to left her and started a new life in germany owing loads of tax ect he never provided to the children now they are all grown up 21/15 hes got back in contact! hes getting married to his partner and yhey have a baby boy /want them to come to his wedding in a lovley greek island want his children to come I saw her today and she looked so ill she couldnt have her chemo today IM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANGRY

this thread came about as in my other thread the parents said he has to keep away and its there buisness,[look at other thread]so my thoughts were where would he stand if he paid maintenence or if he did,nt pay.xxxxxxxxxxxxjoy