General Chat

hi there friend in a terrible state over csa questions and help here needed theyve had a bill for £21,000 7 days 2 pay the child is now 17 and they want back pay and the dad not sure if he is

why your friend ignored them till now ? If he is unsure they will fix it for him to have a DNA test .

why hasnt he told the CSA he doesnt think he is the father ..for them to ignore him he is either named on the birth cert of not complied with the them..

have a dna test or pay up they all cry it wasnt me prove it

Joanne your brother wasted his money he could of got a dna test anyway and if the mother refuses its proven for him..

My daughter hasn`t had a penny --her son is 11. Today CSA said mothers could name and shame fathers who don`t pay up, Ros

he had a load of hassle with them ended up in hospitial depression etc really bad and ended up loosing job and the doctor advised csa they left him alone

I am sure they will delay expecting the payment until he has a DNA test , sorry just read your response, why has he not had a DNA test if the CSA has been 'hassling' him? My son is eleven and his father has not paid a penny (but was proved to be father over 10 years ago,not that there was ever any doubt),I got my 6 monthly letter from CSA today.....can't believe a 40 year old has not worked for 10 years? Rose x

Hi Susan, all I would suggest is that your friend gets professional advice immediately. My brother has just been through the courts over a problem with the csa. 10 years ago, he had a one night stand with a girl he knew. She was in a long term relationship at the time. Later on she had a baby with her man and they played happy families. She split up with him 2 years later and got on with her life. 18months ago, my brother got a letter from the csa saying that he was the father of this child and that he owed over £20,000 back pay, and they wanted it asap. He buried his head in the sand, and agreed to pay £100 a week. We urged him to get a dna test as relationship had never been proved - she said she knew he was the father as someone had said child ooked like him! The woman refused dna, and so he appointed a solicitor. The case went to court and was deemed to be illegal as parenthood had never been proven and the woman still refused to let her child have one. My brother had said all along that if parenthood was proved, then he would willingly pay and also would like to get to know the child. He has now had all money refunded, and the woman no longer claims that he is the father. Joanne

Why has it taken 17 years for the CSA to present him with a bill? Surely he has had some contact from them before this. I guess he has ignored previous contact? The CSA are using shock tactics to get him to respond, one way or the other. Sorry, I am probably not the best person to comment on this, as my ex husband, a professional man earning over £100K a year, refused to pay a penny towards our youngest daughter's keep. There was never the slightest question about paternity - he just didnt want to pay anything. The CSA are my heroes - within a week of me writing to the Secreatary of State, lol, the CSA issued my ex husband with a seven day notice, requiring him to pay £60,000 for three years maintenance. That got him off his backside at last! The bill was greatly reduced of course in the end, but it did the trick. I got my money in a lump sum, and the CSA took it off him in monthly instalments, which will continue until his death, if necessary - and beyond, because it is no longer ME he owes the money to, but the Secretary of State. Quite right too - how did the rest of you feel, when you had to chip in towards my daughter's keep, when her father was earning £100K? OC OC

Hello Hayley, my brother kept asking for a DNA test, but the mother refused. Apparently if the mother refuses then there is no DNA test done. This point was brought up in the court and was probably the main factor for all charges being dropped. He paid up initially, because he was naive and stuck his head in the sand. All money that he paid has been refunded joanne

bet he wasnt depressed when he was in bed making the child our foster daughters never had a penny out of her ex husband for our twins he left when they were 10 months old she struggled and we helped her while he had three holidays a year and a brand new car every year they are 12 now and we have nothing to thank the useless sh-- for he left her saying she wouldnt take her beatings like a real woman name and shame them i will be first beware ladies of MICHAEL LAX now of thirsk

Joanne I am glad he got the right result..xx

This is such an emotive subject for me I really should go to bed! I was forced to have a DNA test by the father ( despite the fact that we had been together two years he tried to get out of paying by disputing paternity).These days a DNA test is done by swabbing the mouth, then I had to take my ten month old son and I and a nurse had to physically pin him down while the doctor tried to get enough blood from his tiny veins. The doctor was shaken and to his credit said that the amount he managed to get would 'have to do' as it was impossible to get more from the vein without it being tantamount to 'abuse'. It makes me so mad to think of my son's distress,it is not the fact that his father has not paid but that he put my son through that and STILL would not face up to his responsibilty. Sorry just letting off steam! Rosexx

I'm gonna say something that you won't agree with! WHY HAS IT TAKEN HIM 17 YEARS TO WANT TO PROVE PARANTAGE? If he is the father then he has lost more than money!!

i totally agree with pink

That is such a large amount that no-one would be able to pay in the time requested, which is a good job, because if they'd asked for £500 you'd probably have had a whip round to get rid of them! Challenge this decision. Appeal this decision. Use disputed parentage as an argument if necessary. Get advice from a Law Centre or solicitor. A very high percentage of CSA decisions are wrong anyway. The same thing happened to the husband of a friend of mine. He had a demand out of the blue for £35,000! Never paid a penny in the end. Has just had another large demand from CSA. Daughter is 19, left school 3 years ago and left home to live with her boyfriend at the same time. Here we go again! Hold your nerve and don't give 'em a penny until they've got the calculation right and paternity is either accepted or proved. Sheila

Sheila This child is now 17 years old and it sounds as if the father hasnt paid a penny. If the child is his, then he damn well ought to pay something. If the child ISN'T his, why hasnt he said so before? OC

I am with OC on this...they must of contacted him to set a start date for maintenace payments. So why hasnt he paid for his child or said he doesnt think the child is his before now. Another they are not getting a penny out of me ?

£21,000 back pay for a period of 17 years? That works out at about £27 a week doesn't it? Hardly a fortune to support a child.......... Rosex