General Chat

People often post about cliques, or say GR boards and/or threads are cliquey

but what is a clique, and how does it form?

A clique is basically a group of 2 to 12 (averaging 5 or 6) “persons who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting.” It differs from a "crowd" in that the members interact with one another (e.g., hang out together, go shopping, etc).

The word 'clique' or 'cliquey' is often used in day-to-day conversation to describe relational aggression or snarky, gossipy behavior of groups of socially dominant teenage girls, although this is not scientifically accurate. Interacting with cliques is part of normal social development regardless of gender, ethnicity, or “popularity.”

Although cliques are most commonly studied during adolescence and middle childhood, they exist in all age groups.


So how does a clique form?

I started to think this through some years ago, when I realised that OH and I were being considered part of a clique in an association that we belonged to.

The answer usually is a group of people who have "grown" together over a period of time .............. it might be classmates from school or uni, or members who joined a group (in real life or on the internet).

They met at a branching of their life, and initially became friendly or merely acknowledged each other just because they were ALL new to that situation.

Then gradually, they began to sit at the same table at uni or meeting, or to congregate on the same threads on the internet.

Gradually they began to share the same ideas, jokes, or just sense of fun ....... and to meet or contact each other more often


Then, others (especially newcomers) saw them as the clique.


That is what had happened to OH and I ........ our "clique" consisted of 6 or 7 people who had all joined the society round about the same time, and all attended our first meeting the same year. Of course, we congregated together because we were newbies ..... and everyone else knew each other (we thought!).

Somehow, 20 years later ....... we WERE the clique at the top.


Quite unintentionally.



But this is what has happened on GR ...................

............... there ARE several cliques, fitting the definition.

All consist of people who met originally on here, and found something in common. Unfortunately, they become a clique just because they do know each other so well, and because they have "in" jokes and "in" knowledge that mean other people cannot join in, or feel unwelcome.





not meaning to upset anyone just explaining what I think happens in all groups.




sylvia

Hello Sylvia - I hope you are well.

I think the word 'clique' is probably misused at times. Sometimes it seems to be used as a word meaning a group of people who band together over a common interest and make other people feel unwelcome. At other times it seems to imply that a group are elitist - that is feeling they are above other people who are therefore not welcome to join in.

Sue

Hi Sue

I'm fine thank you. Hope you are well.


You're right of course ........ there is the elitist or military group, who have joined together because they feel superior to everyone else, or they want to organise a coup.

But I was thinking in the simplest sense of small groups that develop within other groups.

These groups may not mean to become a clique, nor to make other people feel unwelcome ........ but that is what happens.



sylvia

I remember being told I was part of a clique on GR a few years ago as we obviously all knew each other. The ironic thing was that we didn't and it was the first time we'd EVER spoken on GR lol

We just agreed with each other on that particular night lol

I think the trick is just to take part and chat if you're interested in a thread. That's what I do.

I've got such a lousy memory that I forget who I've chatted to in the past anyway. there's just a few names that I tend to remember and I don't join in every thread they post.

Sometimes the word "clique" is flung out as an insult. Without doubt the people on my Aussie thread have become firm friends. How could we not when we have been part of each other's happiness, experienced deaths in our families and daily happenings. We have lost one of our thread members. I have met several people from my thread and other GR members on a recent trip to the UK which has made our friendships even more special.

Sue

You just have to look at my photo to see I'm not an old crone ;-) and I don't knit.

I think we've had a member in the past called Old Crone and we did have knitters at a an execution of young Daniel - I think he got a last minute reprieve...but that was many years ago and i didn't condone any of it lol

I think my favourite "clique' has gone many years ago so I'm sharing the in joke with myself lol

I knew that could go wrong !! so deleted it !!!

ok Sue....I didn't condone it because I couldn't knit either......

I remember the Old Crone - she was the voice of reason and very clever at helping people with their research.

I didn't see anything wrong Lindsey :)

Too true Sue :)

Well you never know if anyone would think I meant it personally !

I am just watching the DVD of Lord of the Rings ( nothing on tv lol) ...when is a clique not a clique... when it is a fellowship? when a group of very different people come together in a common cause or interest...eg the writers group is a 'fellowship' I would say, in that no one is excluded or unwelcome but we all have something 'together' that we talk about..

I was in a group of students ( studying one or two of the same subjects) we formed a natural fellowship though we were all as different in age and background as possible. But no one was excluded...I wonder if anyone felt so, but I don't believe they did because they were all in similar groups, which overlapped in many respects (age, gender, drinking interests lol, etc)

I've been in several cliques here apparently ,( I think may have been in the same one as SRS lolol) but I wasn't aware of it, I was just talking to people who talked to me :-D

Actually you were the one person who i did know from that clique lol However, I don't think we'd even had a chance to chat on that thread at the time lol

You didn't post anything wrong Lindsey and I have to tell the truth.....that's not really me in the photo ;-)

hi sylvia,
nice to see you posting on the general thread.
your thread is about cligues.
when i started on these boards in 2004 i really didnt post much,very weary of friends sticking together,people who go to meets regularly and know one another,but as time went on, and i started posting threads myself i discovered that these people were not cligues, but people who just had the same thoughts and opinions,ive made a few friends on here,SUEMAID,HAYLEY,SUPER,ELAINE,and JOY,to name but a few,ive never met any of these people,the only connection we have is that we think alike.x :-D

Hello Sylvia .told you i would pop on .hope you are alright x
football on tv oh watching for a change ..so having a nosy on threads .
the house looks stunning in the snow Barbra :-) ~~~All

Put that word under Enter Keyword and then click on search ;-)

yes bet you would get thousands of hits. :-)