General Chat

Honesty is definietly two way thing :)

Do you think I was being tactful CP ?

Being honest is very Important,but it depends on your motive for being honest.

Cutetiddlelypoo, it is a little different with sisters/ daughters. Tact is the better or softer answer. But being a Libra I won't hurt anyones feelings, but would draw the line at a outright lie. Too soft for my own good at times.

LOL.....yes I agree with family...maybe a bit more tactful with friends....being a leo...you just say it as you see it...lol

I don't like being lied to either.

I used to be so honest that if you said the queen was your cousin.. I would have believed you.

Why would you lie to me?
I wouldn't lie to you.

Got over that as I got older.

I have broken friendships because of lies.

Deanna X

I do not consider Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth fairy lying.

There is a women I wont call her afriend..but she is a very good friend of a friend..we have known her years...you know when she is lying as her lips are moving......it got to the point where I just couldn't stand to be in her company.....we went to the casion one night and she won £25.00 ...by the time we got back to our local she had would £75.00 and by the end of the night she had won £100..why ? What did she gain and it was'nt £75.00 was it ?
My friend put it down to her upbringing ....she is now in her 50's and has well her and her OH have work hard....so does she still need to tell these lies ? She does however think she is a cut above everyone....its pittiful really...

Hi Tory,

Yes honesty is vital, to be let down by someone you trust is the worst feeling ever. I could not lie but agree that the tact one is a little tricky lol!!

As was said, we dont all know each other off here, but lots of us do and I have trusted people with things close to my heart, only been let down once.

Caz xx

Yes I hate hypocrisy too.
We used to have this woman come to the house when we were younger.... no names!!
She would talk about every woman in the town who was sleeping with whom etc etc....
She was the biggest *bike* around. (tell me if that offends)
My husband said once.... "I wouldn't mind her talking about people if she didn't believe just how innocent she is herself."

Deanna X

I agree entirely. Honesty is essential as what is the point in anything else. I believe anything else is deluding ones' self. If anyone asks an opinion, I wil always say 'do you want an honest answer? and if they say yes I give it. Some people may prefer a false answer but lifes too short to play games.
The one exception may be if someone was very vulnerable and would suffer from the truth.
Sue

Kitty I can keep a secret though,I have been told things by several people on sites that I go on and I have never told anyone else (nor will I) . If its a secret then it is filed away in my mind under "Never to be told". Lol


Maddyxx

I agree Susan.
I had a couple of friends who used to take me shopping for clothes.
It seemed that I was the only friend who would tell them the truth about how they looked.

What is the point of telling a friend... "oh yes, you look lovely... buy it" of they look awful in it?

Deanna X

To make you fantastic Deana.....tsk...pmsl

honesty is a basic of human life in my opinion and as has been said on here earlier, only be economical with the truth if someone is likely to be hurt - also to be a liar you have to have a good memory or you'll shoot yourself in the foot - my feet are untouched!!!!

Honesty is very important to me - I was very hurt when i left a carrier bag full of my M&S purchases in on a hook in a ladies loo in Cheltenham, I returned minutes later and it was gone, and it was not handed in to security or adjacent shops. i was hurt because I couldn't believe anyone could be so dishonest. But is that dishonesty or stealing (one and the same?)

Strangely (and I only shop in Cheltenham occasionally, more usually shopping in Gloucester) a couple of weeks later I was in WH Sm**** and looking at magazines when I found a M&S carrier bag full of shopping on the floor...... I handed it in behind the till, hopefully the person would have returned and got it back.

I think a lot of people who those of us who are honest accuse of telling l.lies, are actually exaggerating the truth, it seems that they are maybe people with low self esteem and to exaggerate something, to make it more impressive is to gain admiration and raise their self esteem. A sort of follow on from childhood when children exaggerate how good they are at doing things and how big their Dad is etc.

what is worse to me is the person who lies about somebody else i.e. spreading rumours. I always think is somebody tells me a rumour about someone else, what are they saying to others about me?

Having said that, a little bit of tact is best to avoid hurting somebody sometimes, I don't like people who brag about their honesty by saying 'I tell it like it is, that's me'. They will be blunt to someone not minding about hurting their feelings, but ok they are being honest. is that good? I think not.

ann
Glos

Funny funny..miss cute... whatsist... ;-0)
Deanna X

I agree with Ann...I left a beautiful Liberty shawl in a restaurant in London once, returned wthin minutes and it was gone! However I did lose a ring in a Ladies loo and that was handed in, so there are plenty of honest folk about!

People who lie compulsively often have a self-esteem problem, I once knew someone like that and ended up dis-believing EVERYTHING she said. There are also those who are dishonest in a manipulative, machiavellian way - very nasty, I had the misfortune to have a boyfriend in this mould.

I try to be honest, I am also very reserved so would tend to 'keep it shut' rather than try to 'white lie' - sometimes, though, you are not allowed the luxury of saying nothing!

I agree with that Chris, I think serial liars really do believe they are telling the truth,


I'm sorry you were hurt by your Mum,


Caz xxx

I saw once on here someone lie not a little one...but a hughed serious one....and it caused a right row and bad vribes on the board for weeks.......to this day I shall never undersand why ? She was a well respected member or so she thought....But just goes to show....

I don't lie. In all my 32 years, I have never told a porky.