Find Ancestors

When I used to help out regularly on Tips and Records a couple of years ago it was the norm for people to stick around after posting a request and respond to any questions. I've been following and adding to a few threads on both boards over the last couple of days and people don't seem to return to the thread. So I was wondering, is it the norm these days to post and then return later to pick up the info, or have folks forgotten their manners! LOL. What say you regular helpers? Jeanette x

Unfortunately the 'norm' is not too stay online to answer the questions which are a result of not enough info on the original thread. And again too often people never seem to look at their threads again. Unless they take the info and think why should they bother thanking the members for finding out the info for them. I have often nudged up a thread which has not been answered only to get a rude reply several days later asking why I was so rude. Sometimes wonder why so many people do actually do lookups. Now have a list of about 20 names, and numbers, of members that I will ignore even if I could help them. Maureen

It certainly can be annoying! But to be fair, if the questioner has any experience of other forums it can be days, if not weeks before an answer comes - no wonder one would forget! However, on here it becomes obvious that the threads move fast - you would think a thank you would be given, even if the information given was not followed up. Anne

I made my memebership full,not long ago. someone posted a request, to which i pinged back a Q they replied,, so i thought fair enough,they are still here ,watching and waiting. after that - nothing...and i spent ages, cant ebven remember their name now- why ask if you have no intention of looking to see the answer?

Thanks for your replies ladies. Yes, if I put a query up, I'm generally around for a while afterwards, and I always most certainly remember to say thankyou.......My Mum would have my guts for garters if I forgot my manners! LOL. And if I do have to leave the pc for a while, I say so. I can remember that by some people's requests that they actually thought it was the owners/workers at GR that did the look ups and not the members. Still no reason not to be polite though! Maureen......your list sounds very interesting! lol

Helen.......that sounds like a prime example of what I was on about. The fact that some folks think it's GR themselves that do the look ups. He must have thought you were on of GR's minions and you should go straight to his tree and do it for him! LOL

Jeanette, I do really have a black list of members. One said to me in a pm that they could not regularly check the boards because they had two children under the age of 2 and could not understand why I was so rude on their thread. That did not really explain why they had posted at least 8 threads over a ten day period and had acknowledged the help on 7 but had totally ignored one - which was the one that I had nudged up everytime I had spotted them on the boards. Another thing which seems to be happening a lot lately is that I get a message from someone, I do not know, asking for a lookup just because they have seen my name on a thread. Been a lovely day up here. Maureen

Gorgeous down here too Maureen.....like spring! Well at least I know it's not my doedorant then! Have you been to the new Treasure House yet? I went a couple of weeks ago but only looked at PR's so didn't have time to explore it to its full

Not had a chance yet to get down to Beverley. Must go soon as found some distant rellies in Hull on 1901 census and they married there as well. Maureen

Hi Jeanette, I think that some people post queries and are amazed that they get responses so soon. If you have ever used some of the other sites with similar boards it can take weeks or even months to get any responses, particularly if it's on a surname board on Rootsweb. I will try and help out when I get the chance and agree that it can be rather hard to help if insufficient detail is supplied in the original message. My experience is that most members do acknowledge assistance either on their thread or by direct PM. If you feel that you've been taken for granted or that your responses have been ignored you could always delete them (or am I being spiteful?) Keep up the good work! Pete

Pete, I have taken the step of removing information from threads because of lack of response on several occasions. Maureen

LOL Peter! As if any of us would ever be spiteful Well I'm pleased to hear you have had mostly good experiences. I only come over to help now and again these days, so I won't let it put me off. Now I must go to the loo, take my daughter to her friends and cook the tea.......too much info I'm sure! lol. I may be back later....I may not! Take Care

David, usually a new posting is picked up immediately (depending on time of day) if anyone can assist, typing the response say takes two minutes, give 5 minutes and you should have some sort of question/answer that needs response to. Must admit most of my assitance is acknowledged either on the boards or frequently by pm.

David I think a short explanation such as 'I'm only online early mornings' or 'I have to pick the kids up from school but will be back later' is fine and everyone then knows where they are. It is the complete and utter silence of a non-returning poster which drives people mad - was the info no good? Have they forgotten they posted? Have they lost interest? Have they died? What? OC

I've only been trying to help for the last few months, but in that time it certainly does seem to have become the norm not to stay around, acknowledge, or to put up multiple threads on the same topic. I live in Canada, and it is usually evening my time when I am looking at these boards ......... hence my replies appear during the night UK time. I love it when someone adds at the bottom of a request, or in a reply on the thread, that they have to go away from the computer or will only be on at certain times ...... I know exactly where I am with them!! I got really annoyed the other day ........ I had seen a thread on here asking for some help. One of the usual helpers had posted that the information could be found on the complete BMD Index on ancestry. I was then browsing (??lurking??!) on General and there was a thread complaining about having been told where to go look for the information!! 'What did that person think they were doing telling me where to go and search. I am so hurt'!!! Of course, several people were commiserating with her and saying what bad responses they had had from people, etc etc etc. I posted a somewhat angry response on that thread, pointing out what that person had really been asking ..... now I feel guilty!!

I am in Australia and I usually post either early morning or late at night my time. If it's late at night when I make my request, which isn't often, I usually write that I'm going to bed and will get back later. People seem to accept that...I think. Susan

Fancy seeing you here David! LOL I think as OC said, to say that you won't be around for a while is fine, but it's those that never reply or return to a thread that P me off! lol

David, of course there is nothing wrong with leaving and returning. As you say, you don't get a quick response on some sites. And we all have lives away from the computer (at least I hope we do!!). The thing is, that you usually do get a quick response on this site, even if you post in the middle of the night UK time because you have people like me in another country. That's when it is good to have the notation 'Have to go out' or 'Will look back later' or some such. There is equally nothing wrong with you posting your requests before you go to work ........... but it's good to know that if I ask a question of you say about 9am, then I won't get a reply until hours later. It's the need to know!! There is a definite lack of manners creeping in. I also dislike those who follow up a request which you have answered, with 'can you tell me ...... ', about 10 other questions! I get to feeling used at certain times. Sylvia

I must say I usually send people a PM if there's no response for a while and most times I do hear back. Some people don't realise they need to check back because they are under the impression they will be emailed with the results. Others simply have no idea how to find their original message or how to add a reply. What really drives me nuts is when people delete their message when their question was answered. That's so obnoxious! Rose

I think ive been guilty of this. I dont often post but put up a query the other night after midnight. I waited until 1am but had no replies so went to bed. I realise now it would have been better to let anyone looking know that I was going but I think the late hour addled my brains. I did put up a post the following day thanking the people who had replied. In future I will post any queries when I have plenty of time to stick around.