General Chat

I am having some new chest of drawers as the old ones have decided to spill out of the bottoms . Probably crammed them too full

I have to empty out my undies etc and need to find room to transfer them as they go this weekend but not got the new ones in yet .

It means I have to clear out Michaels side of the wardrobe with the drawers he used for his undies,socks pj,s They are not something to pass on so its a black bag senario . Not too sure how I feel about dumping them but he isn't going to use them anymore so I have to bite the bullet and get rid

I still have all his shirts and trousers and his every day shoes and I am not able to move them on. A bit at a time is probably the way to go

Can't believe it's now 7 months since he went, even though at times it seems like .7 years

Am still struggling with him not being here

Decided too to have a new carpet as the new drawers are a different size so it will show were the old ones stood plus I don't like the way the present carpet shows the tread .
Had the local carpet company guy here yesterday that we use . A family run firm who go the extra mile with coming to the house with samples etc and no pressure selling .

It's surprisingly how colours look different on the floor and in situ

I want the carpet to be laid on the floor of the fitted wardrobes too because what is there is grubby and was laid some 3 carpet fits ago.

The owner rep who I know came again to measure up and he asked how I,was doing
He understood how difficult it's moving on hubbies clothes . His mum wasn't able to even think of it for a year and 5 years later she still has loads of his dad's clothes

But a new bedroom carpet and storage may be another step forward

:-)

Baby steps again Shirley, sometimes homes can be found for socks and PJs if you have somewhere near that caters for the homeless. I am sure that one day you will suddenly decide to find a home for all the rest of the clothes. You will know when you are ready. We are all different, Our daughter moved nine months after her OH died and she got rid of any of his remaining clothes then.

7 months is a drop in the ocean when you have been married as long as you had so of course youa re still struggling. Although to the rest of us you seem to be doing ok. You will get there. :-) :-) :-) :-) <3 <3 <3 <3

Thank you Ann for your understanding kind words

It is bloody difficult trying to move on

I was with that guy for 60 years and he was my right arm as well as my best friend

I had had the thought of how would it be if he went but the reality is a 1000 times worse than anyone could think

I am trying though , and can imagine him saying in some situations what are you thinking you silly moo !!!

Strange how different people react. When my dad died, the first thing (literally) that my mum did was to chuck out his clothes. Everything went straight into the bin, no thought of recycling. I think it was her way of coping.

Andy

Shirley, I think many charity shops will also accept written-off clothes that can be re-processed - they can sell them on in bulk, worth asking? Don't just chuck out he usable things, the Salvation Army would probably collect from you

Hi Shirley,

It was good to meet you last weekend, now I have a person to go with your posts, lol

First of all, many supermarkets have bins for unwanted clothing, you could put those items in there as anything unsuitable will be recycled in the appropriate way. Socks could be useful for homeless people.

I think anything you do, large or small, to move on with the practicalities of life without Michael will be difficult but brave and I am sure he is indeed watching over you and commending your strength. He knew how much you loved and still love him and will be sending you hugs when you are sad. Onwards and upwards, baby steps as others have said and remember how many people are here for you
Love
Lizxx

As some may know, my daughter died 5 years ago this July..... my s.i.l still has wardrobes full of her clothes and drawers still filled with undies, night clothes make up and toiletries. He did have a small clear out of some insignificant clothing and also passed on a few nice pieces to me. Apart from that , he has not yet managed to find the strength to let go of her personal belongings......... I understand how hard it is for him and realize that one day he will know when the time is right :-(

My OH died 2 yrs ago and I am using (as in wearing) some of his tatty old jerseys in the winter around the house. They are so nice and warm still, and it saves my good ones for when I go out.

Everyone is different and will pass on their loved ones possessions when they are ready.
A colleague was widowed when her children were still at Primary School. She said she kept a wardrobe of his clothes for over 10 years. She never opened it, just knew they were 'there'. Eventually she decided it was time to move on. A Salvation Army person came to the house and very sympathetically talked to her & her sons to make sure they wouldn't regret their decision to part with the last of the reminders.

Our more elderly neighbour was widowed a few years ago. She's passed on unworn items but still has quite a few if his other clothes. His dressing gown is in the back if the bedroom door & his fleece on the coat hooks. They give her comfort.

Even if you think clean underwear etc arent suitable or too personal for someone else to use, a charity shop could add them to their recycling textile bag & raise money by selling them on.

I do remember seeing a recycle bank at the local Dobies garden centre so will bag up and recycle

Prefer that than to put out for the dustman as they will only go in landfill which I am against

I do recycle as much as I can

Thanks for reminding me.

:-)

Update !!!

Well cleared the drawers and shelves from hubbies wardrobe and bagged up the jumpers , winter vests ,some unworn, found a pack of vests and some pants bought from marks and unopened and made up three bags of clothes for the sense charity shop

Put in a black bag his pants ,socks ,pjs and check shirts he wore daily to take to the clothes bank . Mentioned I had them when I dropped off the jumpers etc bags and they said we will take them too cos we can sell them on too

Thank goodness I did this today cos later had a phone call to say the new chest of drawers are on the way from germany and want to deliver 6th June.
This gives me time to get the carpet done as its hoped will be next week

Moving forward then shirley, hope you enjoy the carpet.

It's sort of strange sometimes how things slot together

The lady at the Sense shop said ,when I said its mostly hubbies jumpers , does he know you are getting rid of his jumpers ?? I said he has passed away but as I am having some work done I need to move them and just putting em elsewhere seems to be silly She said I know , I lost my hubby too and moving on takes time

I am ok that I have moved on some of his clothes

I did find his old version driving license plus the new version , we sent back his card license when he surrenderd his driving license . Have his hearing aids too in their box
but am dumping the earbits and batteries .

It's amazing how much personal things need to moved on with decisions on what to do with them and how much crap you hang onto just in case .

Got another big black bag of crap to be dumped :-(

It was nice to have met you in London Shirley.

As people say one step at a time and in your time. You will get there.

Enjoy your revamped bedroom.

Thank you Uzzi. It is nice to put faces to names . They never seem to match up,with what we imagine but the reality is better xxx ;-)

My mum also got rid of my dads things within days of him passing even all the photos he took through the years which has made it hard for me cos I cant put a face to the people in my tree