General Chat

has anyone had experience of having to postpone a holiday because of family illness, we are booked on a weeks holiday to Portugal 4th June but my mother has become very poorly and is in hospital with pneumonia and other complications she is now unable to swollow and from yesterday became tube fed and things don't look good for her, I spoke to one of the medical staff yesterday and said that we had this holiday booked but was unsure if we would be going and his reply was he didn't think so!!!!!!!!. She only has me which makes me more that I can't leave her, also I am under pressure from my husband who has Vascular parkinsons and becomes very agitated when things don't go his way and when I tried to explain this too him yesterday he became very angry and I ended up in tears so not feeling in a good place at the moment, any advise would be really appreciated thanks for at least taking the time to read this Pam x

Check with your holiday insurance to see what you are covered for.

I'd cancel, you would never forgive yourself if your mum needed you and you weren't there.

Tell your husband to grow up, the world does not revolve around him. Your mum needs you.

So sorry about your mother and I agree with Guinivere.

Friends of ours had to cancel due to her mother's illness. Got most of their money back just a few pounds short, I think they said admin costs.

Another friend without insurance and only flight tickets had to cancel due to illness and the airline gave them a voucher for about 80% of the flight cost as long as they used it within the year.

I'd cancel as you'd feel guilty all the time you were away and you wouldn't enjoy yourself. Your husband will have to learn that there are times when he isn't the most important one.

Remember to look after yourself, you won't be able to help anyone if you become ill.
<3

Guinevere many thanks for your comments about my OH he has a type of dementia because of the parkinsons and so is quite difficult and my mother has never been a good mother to me in fact cruel both physically and mentally so he has heard me many times criticises her and I have told him stories of how she has been towards me and so he is finding it difficult to understand why I am upset and running back and forth to the hospital when I should be channeling all my energy to doing what he wants but can't understand that myself at the moment he's waiting for me to cook him breakfast while being more than able to cook it himself so yes thanks totally agree with your comments those few words have given me a bit of strength he has to understand she was a mother from hell but the only one I've got and will try and be with her for the time she has left so to you I send <3

And also thanks to you Patlin <3

Hi Pam

I have never had to cancel / postpone a holiday, but I just had to say how very sorry I am to read your predicament.

I really feel for you.

Jem <3

I think you can ask the hospital for a letter, or something in writing to give to your insurers. It will state that in their optinion you should not go on holiday and it will state the reasons why.

Try and tell yourself that no matter what kind of mother your mother was to you this maybe the last thing you do for her whereas you still have more time together with your husband to do what he wants. Above all neither problem is your fault you are only doing the best you can under very extreme and stressful circumstances. Your husband will get over his outburst but your mother may not get over her illness. xx

Well put TS :-)

I'm sorry your husband is ill, Pam, but he has some understanding, as you say. I wish you strength to deal with him and your mum.

I've been there and have cancelled holidays for both my parents as they grew old and have never regretted it. My husband wasn't ill, though, so was more understanding.

This is your time to be selfish and do what is best for you, if that involves caring for your mum, then he'll have to put up with it.

I have had to cancel 2 holidays in 1 year due to being hospitalised. If you ask the hospital doctor for a letter explaining things the insurance company should reimburse you for most of the money. I know they did it for me.

You will need a letter from a health professional who is treating your mother confirming her illness. Your insurance company will rerquire this.

Annie

Can your holiday be postponed rather than cancelled?

That way you are there for your mum & you still have something to look forward too.

I sympathise with you regarding your husband. My 72 year old Dad was diagnosed with Vasticular Dementia (due to heart problems) before Xmas. My Dad is sometimes difficult and likes routine, so I can understand the big deal over breakfast.

I would contact your insurance to see where you stand.

If you booked the holiday through a travel agent I would contact them for advice as to whether you should cancel or try to postpone. Is it a package holiday or have you booked the flights and accommodation separately?

Thanks everyone for being caring, firstly the husband seems to have realised that he behaved very badly coming with me to the hospital today and being nice to everyone which makes life so much more pleasant. I went to the travel agents (Thomson) today asking if I could postpone the holiday but seems it's a no can do as it's less than 10 weeks before we go, if I cancel or change the date before Thursday I will get a 30% refund after Thursday it will be 10% as its less than 4 weeks, I have to contact my insurance company and see if I can claim from them , so not looking good but one thing is good my mother is a little better and they say she is now stable. Thanks again for taking the time to reply

Hi Pam, good to hear your Mother is now stable and hope things get better. We had to cancel a family holiday last October after losing my Dad unexpectedly a few days before we were due to go. My husband contacted our insurance company and although it was difficult and took five months, we got most of it back. Good luck and love to you at this hard time. <3

Oh Pam, life is unfair to you. I am glad your Mum is a bit better and that your husband is being more understanding. Hope you can get your money back for the holiday, which you can rebook and enjoy more at a later date.

Lizx

Glad to hear things are looking up.